I saw the filament inside of the light bulb,
Dancing like the worm in my guts,
On the surface of the toilet water gently
Vibrating with my heavy breath.
“If I have to put my whole arm in, I would do it”
I was determined to take that worm
Out of my intestine.
To my surprise, the alien hand slid right into the esophagus.
Who knew you could put an arm that far in?
At that moment, It came bursting out.
I am just an elaborate tube.
An intolerable mass
With two holes on each end.
To see me as a self-eating worm was the funniest thing.
Next morning, I visited a doctor’s office.
The door closed behind me. In that little white room,
There was only he and I.
“Are you experiencing weight loss or gain?”
“Why? If the worm is growing eating my body,
Shouldn’t my weight stay the same?”
Then the doctor handed me a prescription
And said something along the lines of
“Your sins are forgiven, go and sin no more”
My sin is when my neck was tied in a noose,
I sawed off my hand
Instead of the rope around my neck.
Now that I think about it.
I have fallen like the first of the mankind
who were tangled by the serpent.
It is the legless creature that came into me
Unknowingly and made itself my god.
I popped two pills from the case
Onto the dinner table.
Old wine and stale bread
But prepared with care.
This was my ultimate betrayal.
This will be the last dinner together.
It was at that moment I thought,
“What if there is already more of it than me?”
It was too ironic to think that
I accidentally prepared my own last dinner.
Excerpts from "Intolerable Mass" (2012)
Series of photographs and a short story were made into a book (15 pages)